Something to prove.

It's been forever. Honestly, I can't even remember the last time I updated this blog. But I can promise you dear friends, you're going to start seeing alot more of me. I've had a lot of tragedy happen since the last time we talked. Most recently, I discovered that my boyfriend of 7 years had not only been unfaithful with multiple women, but when I confronted him about it...he attacked me. In less than 24 hours, I became single, a victim of domestic abuse, and my world completely upside down.

But I say this not to feel sorry for myself. I've already hit that floor. I say this because, I need to use this...fire...that I feel to really jumpstart my life . As far as my weight goes I'm down 55 lbs. I could be down alot more , but I've gotten comfortable. I was content. But now that my world is shaken up and upside down, I need to channel all this energy I've given to this man to myself. I really think this experience is going to be a turning point for me.

I've deleted all my social media contacts except this blog. I really want to take these next 6 months to focus on me. I'm going to pour everything I have into this blog and my weightloss journey because I want to reemerge as someone new. I have to break all ties, all connects....I have to bury my past. When I resurface, I want to resurface as someone new. My own woman. A healthy, independent woman and look as amazing as I can make myself feel.

That's going to take time, but I swear to you friends, I have to make this happen. I have to do this. The only person I have now is myself and now, I've got something to prove.

Fallen off the bandwagon...but back on the horse!

So its been ages... I've stalled and I'm not happy. But, instead of wallowing in my self pity, I'm going to get back on that horse and drop more weight. To date, I'm still sitting at 293 lbs. Granted, about 5lbs of that is "time of the month weight" (sorry boys), but I could be alot better. I have stuck to my goal of never seeing the big 300 again (hallelujah), but its a new year and im committed.

BODYBUGG ACTIVATE!

Too Many Excuses

Just to be frank I haven't exercised in over 3 weeks. It's disgusting. I feel disgusting. I would say it's not necessarily my fault. I would say that my younger brother was visiting for two weeks and I got swept up. I would say that I had to take a trip to Memphis to find a new place to live next month. I would say that my dog chewed up my work out shoes (all these things are true btw). But, there are no excuses that can compensate for the fact that I've been too lazy to care about my health.

Despite my new found sedentary lifestyle, I HAVE been relatively sticking to my low carb diet which is a major win. I stepped on the scale today and I am 291.8 lbs. That's the lowest I've ever seen the number and only 3 lbs to go until I hit 30. I know that if I would have been taking better care of myself I would have surpassed 30 lbs already, but I at least want to celebrate the fact that my lifestyle has changed for the better. Sure I still drink beer...but not everyday it's always light beer. I've cut wine out to almost non existence. I eat nuts instead of candy.  Sparkling flavored water over soda. I've beefed up my vegetables everyday. I'm just really conscious of what I put in my mouth. I haven't gone crazy about it either. While in Memphis, I had to eat bagels and orange juice for breakfast because that's all they had! And its okay.

Today I'm vowing to get back on my exercise kick because I want to see 30 lbs by the end of the month.  I can do this...I will  do this...

say it pray it do it!

-Loo Loo

I've Beat The System...Weekly Weigh In

I've overcome my obsession with the scale. Granted, I do (and will continue) to weigh in every single day. However, I don't freak out at the number I see anymore. My body is insane. I fluctuate 2-5 lbs every single day, but the important thing to remember is that I'm on this downward trend to my goal of 185 lbs. I've decided to break my goal into 10 lbs increments that's more manageable than this huge gaping number that's so far in the future. Even 20 lbs goals are daunting. I'd rather celebrate way more victories than failures.

With that being said, my official weigh ins are now on Fridays so drumroll please................ my current weight today is 295.4 lbs. That's about 23 lbs lost. I cant freaking believe it. By August, when I start the TFA gig, I want to be 50lbs lighter. I'm about halfway there and I feel good. I'm starting to notice a difference too. I can look directly in the mirror now. Before when I would be getting dressed, I would turn sideways and never look at myself dead on because I'd be disgusted. I'm not disgusted anymore. I look at myself in the mirror at Zumba.  I can see the 23 lbs on my body and its made such an impact on my life. I feel good. 

I've been getting some FANTASTIC low carb recipes off the internet from http://www.genaw.com/lowcarb/

The food is amazing and so simple. The boyfriend has been eating all of my food so it's boyfriend/husband/man friendly stuff and keeps me in my realm of 30 carbs per day.

I'm going to keep this up. I'm going to do this.

Say it, pray it, do it

Loo

Champagne Showers

I'm slightly hungover. Not as hungover as last time...but still pretty unpleasant this morning. The boo and I (who has dropped almost 20lbs) decided to head out for St. Patrick's day. He drove and I drank. Now, a few hours into the club, he starts drinking and now we're in a situation... How the eff are we going to get home? He decides to drive us anyway (bad bad BAD IDEA) and we drive straight into a checkpoint on the freeway. I just knew we were going to jail, but Jeremy stayed calm presented his id and we made it home. As soon as we were in the clear I smacked him and said "NEVER AGAIN!!!" If you agree to drive, your ass needs to remain sober you could have went to jail!!! Plus, I dont drink and drive. All my friends have ruined their lives with DUI's and I have too much to lose.

On a good note though, I danced my ass off (literally) and was able to shake myself out of my plateau. My weigh in this morning was 296.4 that's about 22 lbs lost overall and the lowest I've seen the scale in years. It was hot as hell in that basement so I was able to sweat shake rattle and roll all night long.

Hopefully, the weight will keep on falling off. I'm ready for the new me!

PILOXING FOR FATTIES-like me!

So I'm getting back in the swing of things after my vacation and it feels pretty good to be back on my health kick. I stepped on the scale today and the weight went back down to 300. Yesterday, the scale said 298 but I don't have the energy to get pissed off about things like that anymore. It's going down one way or another and besides, Aunty "Flo" is coming for a week long visit so I'll try to avoid the scale as much as possible.

This semester of school is over which has taken alot of pressure off of me and it feels so damn good to just BREATHE! I have to retake two of the Praxis II tests I refused to study for, but hey...I'll take that. I managed to squeeze an A and 2 B's this semester so I'm pretty damn proud of myself.

On Tuesday, I decided to try another aerobics work out called Piloxing. Its a combo of pilates and boxing designed  by this sweedish woman and I haven't decided if it's the most awesome thing I've ever done in my life or if it's completely retarded as hell. It's designed in blocks like Turbokick-which I don't like too much. Zumba has me spoiled. I like when the instructors all have their own spin on the choreography. Piloxing is the same no matter where you go. However, you do get these .5lb weighted hand gloves that are pink and black and freakin fabulous. I want to just walk around with them on all day because they're cute.

Piloxing is weird. You punch, kick, and then get into third position and "serve the platter". Interesting...is the only word I can conjure up to describe it.

When I went home last week (I haven't seen my family in over a year) everyone was commenting on how much weight I lost. It felt good to be acknowledged for that. I'm working my ass off for something I won't see results for until a year from now.

I've been a good girl since I've been home this week and am going to take it easy on the partying this weekend. The boo wants to go all out for St. Patrick's day (we're both black so why he is so into St. Patrick's Day baffles me lol!) , but I'm going to lay off the beer. Champagne does the trick better than beer and I don't get butt-stomach after drinking it! I look for any excuse to pop bottles!

-Hasta Manana

Loo Loo

Back from Vacation..Time to face the scale

Ive been on vacation for 8 days and just made it back home at 1:00am this morning. I'm sad to leave all my friends and family back home but boy does it feel good to be back in my normal routine. Have I stuck to my low carb plan and exercised everyday? Aboslutely not! And you know what...It feels good to have been on vacation from the scale too. I needed a mental break.

However, I'm really proud of myself that I have adopted some major lifestyle changes that I brought along with me on vacation.

1. I did not drink any full sugar soda. I had a diet coke twice since I was there
2. I said no to birthday cake and ice cream. I really dont ever want to overdo it with sugar again. Diabetes runs rampant in my family and I dont want to ever get that disease.
3. I DID NOT OVER EAT. This is probably the most important. I ate 3 square meals a day and a healthy snack and stopped when I was full.

I did gain 2 lbs while I was on vacation which isn't too bad considering I threw my low carb diet out the window and said helllooooo to macaroni salad! Thats the only down side to low carbing. If you suddenly get off the low carb way of life, you can put on weight really quickly if you aren't careful. I might add in that it will be my TOM this week so I'm sure I'll pack on some weight there too.

So to date I'm at 302 lbs. It pains me to type the big 300 again,but I'm confident i'll shake it off and continue on my journey once more.

Today, I'm trying out Piloxing for the first time AND an extra hour of Zumba to try and shake off this water weight. I'm sure it'll kick my ass since I've been on my butt all week long.

'Till Tomorrow

-Loo Loo