Something to prove.

It's been forever. Honestly, I can't even remember the last time I updated this blog. But I can promise you dear friends, you're going to start seeing alot more of me. I've had a lot of tragedy happen since the last time we talked. Most recently, I discovered that my boyfriend of 7 years had not only been unfaithful with multiple women, but when I confronted him about it...he attacked me. In less than 24 hours, I became single, a victim of domestic abuse, and my world completely upside down.

But I say this not to feel sorry for myself. I've already hit that floor. I say this because, I need to use this...fire...that I feel to really jumpstart my life . As far as my weight goes I'm down 55 lbs. I could be down alot more , but I've gotten comfortable. I was content. But now that my world is shaken up and upside down, I need to channel all this energy I've given to this man to myself. I really think this experience is going to be a turning point for me.

I've deleted all my social media contacts except this blog. I really want to take these next 6 months to focus on me. I'm going to pour everything I have into this blog and my weightloss journey because I want to reemerge as someone new. I have to break all ties, all connects....I have to bury my past. When I resurface, I want to resurface as someone new. My own woman. A healthy, independent woman and look as amazing as I can make myself feel.

That's going to take time, but I swear to you friends, I have to make this happen. I have to do this. The only person I have now is myself and now, I've got something to prove.

Fallen off the bandwagon...but back on the horse!

So its been ages... I've stalled and I'm not happy. But, instead of wallowing in my self pity, I'm going to get back on that horse and drop more weight. To date, I'm still sitting at 293 lbs. Granted, about 5lbs of that is "time of the month weight" (sorry boys), but I could be alot better. I have stuck to my goal of never seeing the big 300 again (hallelujah), but its a new year and im committed.

BODYBUGG ACTIVATE!

Too Many Excuses

Just to be frank I haven't exercised in over 3 weeks. It's disgusting. I feel disgusting. I would say it's not necessarily my fault. I would say that my younger brother was visiting for two weeks and I got swept up. I would say that I had to take a trip to Memphis to find a new place to live next month. I would say that my dog chewed up my work out shoes (all these things are true btw). But, there are no excuses that can compensate for the fact that I've been too lazy to care about my health.

Despite my new found sedentary lifestyle, I HAVE been relatively sticking to my low carb diet which is a major win. I stepped on the scale today and I am 291.8 lbs. That's the lowest I've ever seen the number and only 3 lbs to go until I hit 30. I know that if I would have been taking better care of myself I would have surpassed 30 lbs already, but I at least want to celebrate the fact that my lifestyle has changed for the better. Sure I still drink beer...but not everyday it's always light beer. I've cut wine out to almost non existence. I eat nuts instead of candy.  Sparkling flavored water over soda. I've beefed up my vegetables everyday. I'm just really conscious of what I put in my mouth. I haven't gone crazy about it either. While in Memphis, I had to eat bagels and orange juice for breakfast because that's all they had! And its okay.

Today I'm vowing to get back on my exercise kick because I want to see 30 lbs by the end of the month.  I can do this...I will  do this...

say it pray it do it!

-Loo Loo

I've Beat The System...Weekly Weigh In

I've overcome my obsession with the scale. Granted, I do (and will continue) to weigh in every single day. However, I don't freak out at the number I see anymore. My body is insane. I fluctuate 2-5 lbs every single day, but the important thing to remember is that I'm on this downward trend to my goal of 185 lbs. I've decided to break my goal into 10 lbs increments that's more manageable than this huge gaping number that's so far in the future. Even 20 lbs goals are daunting. I'd rather celebrate way more victories than failures.

With that being said, my official weigh ins are now on Fridays so drumroll please................ my current weight today is 295.4 lbs. That's about 23 lbs lost. I cant freaking believe it. By August, when I start the TFA gig, I want to be 50lbs lighter. I'm about halfway there and I feel good. I'm starting to notice a difference too. I can look directly in the mirror now. Before when I would be getting dressed, I would turn sideways and never look at myself dead on because I'd be disgusted. I'm not disgusted anymore. I look at myself in the mirror at Zumba.  I can see the 23 lbs on my body and its made such an impact on my life. I feel good. 

I've been getting some FANTASTIC low carb recipes off the internet from http://www.genaw.com/lowcarb/

The food is amazing and so simple. The boyfriend has been eating all of my food so it's boyfriend/husband/man friendly stuff and keeps me in my realm of 30 carbs per day.

I'm going to keep this up. I'm going to do this.

Say it, pray it, do it

Loo

Champagne Showers

I'm slightly hungover. Not as hungover as last time...but still pretty unpleasant this morning. The boo and I (who has dropped almost 20lbs) decided to head out for St. Patrick's day. He drove and I drank. Now, a few hours into the club, he starts drinking and now we're in a situation... How the eff are we going to get home? He decides to drive us anyway (bad bad BAD IDEA) and we drive straight into a checkpoint on the freeway. I just knew we were going to jail, but Jeremy stayed calm presented his id and we made it home. As soon as we were in the clear I smacked him and said "NEVER AGAIN!!!" If you agree to drive, your ass needs to remain sober you could have went to jail!!! Plus, I dont drink and drive. All my friends have ruined their lives with DUI's and I have too much to lose.

On a good note though, I danced my ass off (literally) and was able to shake myself out of my plateau. My weigh in this morning was 296.4 that's about 22 lbs lost overall and the lowest I've seen the scale in years. It was hot as hell in that basement so I was able to sweat shake rattle and roll all night long.

Hopefully, the weight will keep on falling off. I'm ready for the new me!

PILOXING FOR FATTIES-like me!

So I'm getting back in the swing of things after my vacation and it feels pretty good to be back on my health kick. I stepped on the scale today and the weight went back down to 300. Yesterday, the scale said 298 but I don't have the energy to get pissed off about things like that anymore. It's going down one way or another and besides, Aunty "Flo" is coming for a week long visit so I'll try to avoid the scale as much as possible.

This semester of school is over which has taken alot of pressure off of me and it feels so damn good to just BREATHE! I have to retake two of the Praxis II tests I refused to study for, but hey...I'll take that. I managed to squeeze an A and 2 B's this semester so I'm pretty damn proud of myself.

On Tuesday, I decided to try another aerobics work out called Piloxing. Its a combo of pilates and boxing designed  by this sweedish woman and I haven't decided if it's the most awesome thing I've ever done in my life or if it's completely retarded as hell. It's designed in blocks like Turbokick-which I don't like too much. Zumba has me spoiled. I like when the instructors all have their own spin on the choreography. Piloxing is the same no matter where you go. However, you do get these .5lb weighted hand gloves that are pink and black and freakin fabulous. I want to just walk around with them on all day because they're cute.

Piloxing is weird. You punch, kick, and then get into third position and "serve the platter". Interesting...is the only word I can conjure up to describe it.

When I went home last week (I haven't seen my family in over a year) everyone was commenting on how much weight I lost. It felt good to be acknowledged for that. I'm working my ass off for something I won't see results for until a year from now.

I've been a good girl since I've been home this week and am going to take it easy on the partying this weekend. The boo wants to go all out for St. Patrick's day (we're both black so why he is so into St. Patrick's Day baffles me lol!) , but I'm going to lay off the beer. Champagne does the trick better than beer and I don't get butt-stomach after drinking it! I look for any excuse to pop bottles!

-Hasta Manana

Loo Loo

Back from Vacation..Time to face the scale

Ive been on vacation for 8 days and just made it back home at 1:00am this morning. I'm sad to leave all my friends and family back home but boy does it feel good to be back in my normal routine. Have I stuck to my low carb plan and exercised everyday? Aboslutely not! And you know what...It feels good to have been on vacation from the scale too. I needed a mental break.

However, I'm really proud of myself that I have adopted some major lifestyle changes that I brought along with me on vacation.

1. I did not drink any full sugar soda. I had a diet coke twice since I was there
2. I said no to birthday cake and ice cream. I really dont ever want to overdo it with sugar again. Diabetes runs rampant in my family and I dont want to ever get that disease.
3. I DID NOT OVER EAT. This is probably the most important. I ate 3 square meals a day and a healthy snack and stopped when I was full.

I did gain 2 lbs while I was on vacation which isn't too bad considering I threw my low carb diet out the window and said helllooooo to macaroni salad! Thats the only down side to low carbing. If you suddenly get off the low carb way of life, you can put on weight really quickly if you aren't careful. I might add in that it will be my TOM this week so I'm sure I'll pack on some weight there too.

So to date I'm at 302 lbs. It pains me to type the big 300 again,but I'm confident i'll shake it off and continue on my journey once more.

Today, I'm trying out Piloxing for the first time AND an extra hour of Zumba to try and shake off this water weight. I'm sure it'll kick my ass since I've been on my butt all week long.

'Till Tomorrow

-Loo Loo

Carb up up and away!!!!!

After my breakdown on Saturday, I had a really great conversation with my mom who picked me up off the ground. God bless that woman. I'm still dealing with the disappointment of gaining a few pounds but I'm I'm a better place mentally.

That being said my (awesome) job has has sent me and my bosses to las Vegas for a conference. I'm having a ball and unfortunately I'm eating carbs, but it's not my fault.

I don't have a company credit card yet so everything is going on my bosses tab and consequently, we eat wherever she wants to eat or where our business partners want to take us. I've had tortilla chips, Some French fries, orange juice, a bagel, beer, juice and I know I'm going to get thrown out of ketosis no doubt. The conference this morning only had bagels and juice for breakfast and I was starving so I ate one and had juice. They didn't Even have water available. Go figure.

Though I'm stuck eating carbs for a few days, I've been eating in great moderation. I only got halfway through the nachos, I had goat cheese and toast for dinner. My breakfast this morning included two boiled eggs as well along with my juice and bagel. So I'm feeling really good about it. We are staying at the Mandalay and its huge so we do a lot of walking. It's only 9:00 am and we've already had over 1500 steps. After all the meetings today I'm going I make my way to the gym and try to get in at least an hour. I know I should still be in calorie deficit so hopefully these carbs dont creep up and throw me completely off track.

Despite all of the craziness this week, I had a really small win on the airplane. Last time I flew, I was so big that I couldn't fit in the seat. I couldn't even lock myself in the seatbelt and the sides of the seat dug in my sides so bad I had bruises that last for a week. It was terrible. This time I flew, I buckled the seatbelt no problem and am bruise free. Its a small step for weightloss but a giant leap for my confidence.

Till tomorrow

-Loo Loo

Today is a bad day

It's started off all wrong. I've been trying to maintain a degree of positivity until it was time to step on the scale this morning. I've gained 3 lbs this week and I don't know why. I Zumba 6 times a week, and I've had an average calorie deficit of over 1300 a day, and I've really been watching my carb and calorie count. I'm so discouraged. I've been working my ass off- try to walk 10000 steps a day, try to take the stairs, pass on the salt. But here I am, back again at 300 lbs. I don't think I've ever felt this bad or let down in my life. I exceed in all areas of my life except my weight. I graduated top of my class, I'm a semester away from MBA, I've always had an amazing job opportunity float my way, fantastic boyfriend but I just don't understand why I can't get my weight under control. My mom has suggested getting my thyroid checked and I'm going to. I just...really feel like I'm on this long road to nowhere. It meant so much to me to finally be under 300 lbs and now that I'm back here again- despite all my hard work, honestly makes me want to throw up. I feel like a failure. I've prayed, I've cried, I've run faster, jumped higher, and still I'm back here again. It would be one thing if I was cheating and eating whatever I wanted but that mere fact that I've been really really REALLY working my hardest is the biggest letdown I've ever faced. I'm my own worst enemy. I can never win this fight with myself.

My best friend is telling me to either change my diet, throw away my scale, or just accept the weight I am because it's not healthy to be manic depressive about this. She is right. I can't give up the low carb because honestly despite my failed attempts I actually feel better having some degree of control over what I'm putting in my mouth. Saying no to bread rice and potatoes actually makes me feel good that I can pass something up. I've never been able to do that before. I pile my plate high of everything I can find on the menu and scarf it all down. Now, I can pass up items even at a buffet. I've made a significant breakthrough in my lifestyle thanks to low carb and I won't give that up. I won't ever be content with the weight I am now, I was considering gastric bypass before I tried to do this naturally. Maybe I have to jump back on that. As far as throwing the scale away or putting it up, I may have to do just that. One of the bodybugg users on the forum told me she keeps her scale in the trunk of her car so she has to physically go get it every time she wants to weigh herself and it's a big pain in the ass. I may need to do just this. I leave tomorrow anyway so I won't have access to my scale for over a week and it may be just what I need.

Yesterday I purchased some water pills to help alleviate this gain if it was water weight and I still managed to go up on the scale so I'm afraid this isn't water weight afterall... I'm storing fat for some reason. I'm going to go to old navy today and put on a pair of jeans and see how they fit. I went up there about a month a go and squeezed my way into a 18. I mean it was super tight but I was satisfied because I was able to actually get my big butt in them! I haven't been in a 18 since high school. Maybe I'll feel better if there's less jelly rolls hanging off the sides this time.

Hopefully, I can feel less sorry for myself long enough to enjoy the rest of my day. My vacation starts tomorrow and I head off to Las Vegas and then California to see my family.

Till tomorrow,

Loo Loo

New Month...New Priorities

I was going to blog again about how sorry I feel for myself that I've plateaued at 20 lbs and then it just hit me...I've lost 20 lbs! This is a big deal. I'm going to start looking at my glass half full (and drink it for my water intake) and realize that my body is changing and despite what Mr. Nasty-Scale says...it shows. Here is a before and after of me in the same dress. I can see a major difference...and today, that's all I'm going to focus on.

More power to me!

-Loo Loo

Can I EAT The Scale Now?

Today I realized that I can no longer get upset with my daily weight fluctuations. I go up and down about a lb or two every day and it discourages me to not see the numbers go down in a steady fashion. I read somewhere the success is not linear- boy is that the truth.

I'll continue to weight myself everyday- frankly because I can't help it. But, I'm only going to stress my Monday weigh ins and call that my true weight. I've got to be doing something right if I've dropped 20 lbs already so I wont give up..no matter what the scale says. I've been keeping track of my calories in calories out via the bodybugg and maintained a 1800 calorie deficit yesterday. My goal is to average about 1500 everyday so hopefully I can lose upwards of 2 lbs a week.

I made some really good choices today. I forgot my lunch so I headed over to the Chinese buffet across the street from my job to have some "low carb" options, but did a little research and learned that everything there is covered in cornstarch. No Bueno! So on my drive I made a little u-turn and found my way to this little greek restaurant and ordered an antipasto salad instead. Low carb, low fat, AND, Low sodium..that's a #win.

I'm in a good place today..I'm able to make better decisions and really get something out of this whole journey. Its exciting...it's hard...but it's going to work. It HAS to work.

Speaking of work, I inherited this GIGANTIC-A$$ calculator from a former employee. This is as big as my head! Gotta love it!

Eating More....And Weighing Less

Someone told me that I should not be weighing myself everyday- ok, everyone has been telling me that. But, I feel as though, weighing myself everyday keeps me accountable. It helps me stay on track because I know in the morning, I'll have to face the music (or numbers lol) for the decisions I made the day before. It helps enforce this drastic lifestyle change on a day by day basis. Ok yes, I'm becoming slightly obsessed, but there are way worse things to be obsessed with than getting healthy. So, I'll take that =).

#WorkFlow

Anywhoo, if you've been following me you know to date I've had a massive 2 lbs fluctuation in my weight accumulating over the last two days and I couldn't figure out why! This has happened to me before and it was frustrating as hell. I ventured over to the bodybugg website and posed the question- how could I possibly be gaining weight with over a 2,000 calorie deficit? All the replies said the same thing- I wasn't eating enough.

WHAT? This is going against my religion. How is eating more going to help me lose weight? The main reason is that by eating more throughout the day it keeps my metabolism running and therefore burning more calories. Also, I need to have calories to burn calories. If I'm not eating enough-my body goes into starvation mode and holds onto every ounce of food I put in my mouth. This factor and the I-eat-too-much-salt-and-pork epiphany I had lead me to avoid the extra salt yesterday (though I did have leftover necknbones 'doh) and increased my calorie intake by about 1000 calories. That sounds worse than it really is because I'm on a low carb diet anyway and it's easy for me to warm up a couple more sausage, some cheese sticks, and a piece of chicken and voila'! 1000 calories. Wouldn't you know that this morning I stepped on the scale and weighed in at 297.6 lbs? 


That's 2 lbs of water weight gone and .2 lbs of fat melted away overnight!


I was pleasantly surprised. I think I'll try to keep my calorie deficit for the day at about 1300 regardless if I work out or not. This journey is tough man. But, I know who I am and what I want to be...so I'll push through the fire...I'm 1 tough bee-yatch!

I LEARNED SOMETHING NEW TODAY

Despite the bodybugg and my rigorous Zumba exercise plan, I stepped on the scale to see that, again, I've gained another pound. How can this be? I almost cried. 299 lbs? I've been working so hard and these weight fluctuations really take a toll on my motivation. Ive maintained a 2,000 calorie a day defecit...so what gives?

I did a little research and discovered that I am in-taking too much sodium. I love pork neckbones (which is full of salt) and to season then, I use cajun seasoning (salt on top of salt). In fact, I use large amounts of cajun seasoning to flavor all of my foods and since I am on a low carb, high protein diet...I'm eating alot of meat and holding on to alot of water.

Hmm...after today (I still have half a pot of neckbones that I refuse to let go to waste) I'm going to really cut down on that sodium and take neckbones, pork, and all that extra salt off the menu for a while- at least until  I go home to Califonia next week and then all bets are off! Well...no..I won't go crazy (I hope!)

-Loo Loo

BOOZE is my best friend and my worst enemy

This groggy Sunday morning, I made my way to the bathroom to test my urine (as I do every morning) and to my absolute horror...I've kicked myself out of Ketosis...shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttt.

There's no one to blame , but myself. But before you guys scold me on letting myself go, I still managed to lose .2 lbs on the scale (298.4) because of accurate calorie tracking with the bodybugg system. I do have one point to clarify on my "high" burns...

Point number 1...I could care less if my burn seems too high to you or not...this is my body and I have several tracking items that say the same thing for my workouts. 2. I am aware that my bodyburns calories while I do nothing (I am obtaining a masters degree people I know basic science) I have a bodybugg calorie tracking device that lets you track how many calories you burn during a specific activity as well as how many calories I burned total for the day (and how many calories you burn per minute).  3. I think everyone forgets that I am 6'1 weighing 298.4. lbs.  I burn alot of calories at a higher rate than average people becase I'm 120 lbs overweight, I'm "ginormous", and by golly I shake my ass at Zumba so incredibly hard to hit a minimum of 1000 burned. Furthermore, on Friday I was sick and couldn't give it my all and the bugg told me I only shook off 864 calories at class. Sad.

Here is a screen shot of my bodybugg calorie spreadsheet

You see that gigantic spike in my activity level??? That was me at Zumba..the smaller spikes at the end of the day was when we went to the mall and walked around for an hour! Nice right?

Now back to kicking myself out of ketosis...it wasn't anything I ate it was what I drank. Since I've started the low carb process I have given up most of my drinking. I LOVE margaritas and beer and yesterday succumbed to having a slenderita (margarita made with splenda) and 3 bud lights. On top of this I ate bbq ribs with (I'm assuming) a ton of sugar in the sauce. There were enough carbs in my dinner and "extra" activities to kick me out of Ketosis! Ugh. So now I go back to my all protein diet for the next week to get myself back in fat burning mode. No lettuce, no tomatoes, just meat, eggs, dairy, and a handful of fiber pills.

Not looking forward to this week at all!

-Loo Loo

DOUBLE YOU TEA EFF!

Soooooo... I stepped on the scale this morning and it said I gained 1lb since yesterday... like wtf..298.8? Ok I knooooo it might be because I had those extra chicken wings last night at like 9:00 but seriously? I know there is water weight and body fluctuations and all that jazz, but I dont want to hear it!

I went to Zumba and according to my bodybugg, I burned 1130 calories while I was there. I better see come freaking results tomorrow or ....ELSE!

BTW, I'm on my way to take 1 out of my 3 required Praxis II exams today. Have I told you yet that I got accepted into the Teach For America program? Probably not. Either way, I've got about 1500 hoops to jump through before it all comes together...including passing these tests.

Test one in T-minus 1 hour. Wish me luck!

-Loo Loo

I'VE GOT THE BUGG...BODYBUGG REVIEW

 I'm so freakin excited...MY BODYBUGG FINALLY CAME IN THE MAIL YESTERDAY!!! I've been hunting down UPS all day to make sure I didn't miss it when it arrived right before I left for late night Zumba and I got to test it out. Before I get to my reviews let me spill out my stats for the day before I forget.

Current weight: 297.8 lbs  Weight Loss 21lbs. Time Elapsed : 6 weeks 5 days. 

Yea, you read that correctly, I lost another lb since yesterday! I think really that this is just the excess water weight that is finally shaking off from my "happy time" last week where I put on 6lbs!! I pretty much freaked.

So for those of you who don't know what the bodybugg is, essentially it is a device that you wear on your upper left arm that calculates how many calories you burn during the day. It uses all kinds of sensors to measure your activity...and it's pretty darn accurate.

Since I've gotten this thing, it's made me really aware of just how much shit I had been putting into my mouth. For example at Zumba yesterday I had burned 1134 calories (yes it really was that much..I'm a 6'1- 297 lb girl!!) . Total for the day I had burned 3524 calories total. So before working out my body naturally burns about 2390 calories on it's own. How many calories was I eating daily to get to 318 lbs? If the recommended amount was 2,000 calories a day...I must have been eating large quantities of shit ALL OF THE TIME.

I really like the bodybugg because it's an interactive system. Granted, I care more about carbs than calories, but it is important to note that just because I'm on a low carb diet...doesnt mean I can just eat all damn day. The bodybugg has told me where my cut off point is (2300 calories a day) and how many calories I need to burn a day (3500) to keep losing a minimum of 2 pounds a week. Damn..it's that simple. No guessing. No Bullshit. I got the digital display watch so I can look in real time at how many calories I'm burning doing my everday activities. I burn ALOT of calories because I'm so overweight right now my body is going into overtime trying to fuel it. Bodybugg told me I burned 864 calories from midnight to 7 am this morning. Yes while I was sleeping and drooling, I burned over 800 calories!

This is such an eye opener for me. I had so many bad habits I needed to get rid of and you know what.. I feel better..I look better..and I can't wait to keep this thing going. BODYBUGG IS AWESOME!

-Loo Loo

I'M OUT OF THE 300lbs CLUB! 20 lbs gone FOREVER!

At work...still celebrating...but I need makeup sheesh!

I've never been more excited in my life to report that I've lost 20 lbs! And..I'm even MORE excited to report that I no longer weigh in the 300's. I stepped on the scale this morning (as I do every morning butt-naked) and weighed 298.8 lbs. 


So I hit two goals - my 20 lbs AND to withdraw my membership from the 300 lbs club!

SHA-ZAAM!

My food log from yesterday was as follows:

Breakfast 2 sausage patties (I may need to shake this up a bit but its so damn convenient)
Lunch 2 left over boiled chicken wings and a couple of slices of  left over honey baked ham
Dinner 1 delicious lambchop with mushrooms and red onions and 2 rounds of ham and cheese ceasar salad!
Snack 2 sugar free popsicles

I want to point out here that I was starvin like marvin (who the hell is marvin anyway and why is he always hungry?) by the time I got home from Zumba. I made two chops and planned on eating them both but could not , I repeat, COULD NOT make it through my second plate! I ate the second helping of salad but I couldn't finish the lamb and put it away.

I don't think I've ever not eaten seconds. Even as I started this diet, I always had a second plate of whatever I was eating because I was hungry and didn't have that full sensation. Last night was the first time ever I had gotten full before my second plate was up.

I'm freaking excited...this is the first step on the long journey ahead....maybe soon I'll be able to actually jog on that journey (bet let me not get ahead of myself)

-Loo Loo the EX 300lber

I WAS HUMILIATED- into losing weight!

If you read my introduction, I touched briefly on something I call life changing humiliators. I have this theory that  fatties like myself, will only make the serious lifestyle change to lose weight for the following two reasons: 1. There is a serious pressing health issue that requires us to lose weight 2. We have been humiliated enough times to ignite a change in our bodies. Thus, we derive the term "humiliators" which are the people and life events that have humiliated us in such a way that we lead to a decision to make a permanent change in our lifestyles.

I want to share my humiliators with the world because:
1. I need to let this go and don't let these people and situations haunt me forever.
2. I want to acknowledge my humiliators because without them, I probably wouldn't have ever been pressed to get healthy

So here we go... Loo Loo's series of humiliators

1. When I was in the 8th grade I was taking Spanish class and we were learning different vocabulary. The next word on the list was gordo or fat in English. We had to make sentences using the vocabulary and read them aloud. One of the boys read: Alexis es mas gorda or Alexis is very fat and the entire class laughed and the teacher didn't do a thing.

2. I was on a flight to Denver, CO to see my mother. I sat down in the seat and tried to buckle the seat belt , but I couldn't do it. I was fighting with the seat belt so bad that the stewardess just blurted out "you're going to need an extender for that- it's not going to fit."

3. I was on a separate flight to Miami and I had the window seat. There was an older woman sitting between me and another gentleman who was on the aisle seat. The woman began complaining in spanish to her friends across the aisle that she was uncomfortable and squished ( I know enough spanish to also have picked up on her not wanting to sit in between two black people as well, but thats another story.) When the flight attendant came by she called out to her and asked her if she could have another seat because I was too fat and she didnt want to sit next to me. I was mortified. Then the lady began telling me how I needed to lose weight even though "I wasnt that fat"  but still pretty fat. The flight attended ended up moving me to first class, but I was mortified and all of the other passengers heard the whole ordeal.

4. I went on a vacation to Costa Rica and my weight affected my whole trip in the following ways:
a. I went canyoneering and the administrators had to get me a special harness because they were worried I was so fat that the rope would break and I'll fall to my death
b. During that same canyoneering incident we had to climb back up the hillside to get to the top of the waterfall and I broke down because I couldn't climb up all of those steps. I held up the group for about 40 additional minutes.
c. On a banana boat ride we got thrown (in fun) off the boat and needed to climb back onto it to keep going. I couldnt pull myself back up on the boat and neither could ALL of my fellow boat riders
d. We went on a horseback riding trip and the facilitators took one look at me and went back inside to get their strongest biggest horse they could find in the stable.
e. On our snorkeling trip to tortuga island- again I couldn't pull myself back up on the boat: A man had to use all his strength to pull me in and all my weight made the boat rock.

5. Last but not least, I went to an amusement park with two of good friends. I love roller coasters so naturally I got in line for the biggest baddest roller coaster there is. I got in the seat and couldnt buckle the seat belt. The ride administrator came over and pulled with all his might but he couldnt buckle me in either..i was too fat. I had to get kicked off the ride in front of everyone my friends included because I was too big to ride the rides.

Im sure there are countless more humiliators in my life but these are the ones that have really stuck with me and are my driving force to losing weight. I never want to be this person again. I'm set to get on a plane in two weeks and hopefully I will have been down 20 lbs by then and can buckle the seatbelt no problem.

I'm saddened that I've been through these hurtful things but I'm even more motivated to make sure I never deal with this again!

DAILY WEIGH IN 2/22/12- 18 lbs GONE!

I obsess about stepping on the scale every morning. I can't help it. I know I shouldn't, but I do. It's not healthy, but I don't care. All the awesome weight loss blogs I've been reading have some sort of weigh in and they capture everything they ate that day or the day before. I need to start doing that so I can practice before my bodybugg comes in tomorrow (YES!). So here we go..

Today I weighed in at 300.6 lbs. Total weight loss 18 lbs (I told you I don't count the ounces against me!)
Total time elapsed 6 weeks and 2 days. BMI 39.6


I'm so ready to see the scale drop below 300 lbs I cant see straight. I was at this same weight about a week and a half ago then I had that "unexpected by always expected" visitor and gained 6 freaking lbs!

Yesterday, I consumed the following:

2 One a Day Vitacraves Vitamins (they're awesome sour gummies with 3 carbs for 2)


Breakfast- 3 sausage patties
Lunch- 4 slices of leftover honey baked ham
Snack- 3 sticks of pepper jack cheese
Pre Dinner-  (I'm always starving when I get home straight from work) 2 sausage patties, 1 slice of honey baked ham and some left over ceasar salad
Real Dinner- 7 boiled chicken wings with hot sauce


*Sprite Zero and Crystal Light Energy also made guest appearances

Don't ask me how many calories are in that daily consumption because I have no idea. I learned today though that those sausage patties have 200 calories EACH so today for breakfast I only had 2 instead of 3. I used up 1000 calories yesterday just eating 5 sausage patties! No bueno.

I'm pretty sure Pre-Dinner isn't the best idea to have. lol. I need to snack more during the day so I'm not starving when I get home. Having those cheese sticks was an awesome idea though. I may need to buy more cheese-preferably in block form where I have to slice it because I just mindlessly eat the sticks otherwise.

TURBOKICK'ed my ass!

Photo Credit Turbokick.com

Last week, I had been stuck at this 13 lbs plateau that I couldn't shake for anything. I was so discouraged that I vowed never to get stuck again. I needed to shake up my workouts. Currently, I'm doing Zumba 5 times a week. I absolutely love it, but my body is starting to get used to the choreography so I need to incorporate another fitness routine into my week.

ALAS, I find out about TURBOKICK. Its another class offered by my studio at a separate (and further) location ...grr..... Anywhoo, I looked it up on YouTube and essentially Turbokick is a cardio exercise that mimics kickboxing and mixed martial arts into a fun routine. And of course...it's to some good music!

I went to class and the first thing I noticed was a WAY smaller class size than my Zumba classes. I guess Turbokick isnt as popular as Zumba...yet. As we got on our way, I realized that my instructor kept looking down at a piece of paper. Apparently, TurboKick is already pre-choreographed. The instructor doesn't make the routine using different moves like Zumba. Turbokick is already pre set and ready to go. I'm not sure if I really like that or not. With Zumba, choreography can be different all the time depending on the instructor. With Turbokick..it's the same damn thing until the producers make a new "round" every 2 - 3 months. But, hey...whatever works right?

I'd suggest for any woman with big hoo-has- you double-triple-or quadruple up on your sports bras. The girls get to bouncing pretty hard as there is alot of jumping involved. I'm going to have to buy a size smaller in sports bras to minimize all the movement.

As a bigger girl, I felt I could keep up. I wasn't intimidated at all and I broke a sweat. There is alot of cross punching which is great for the abs and obliques which is JUST what I need. These love handles are the biggest issue I face so I'm excited to see if Turbokick can kick these babies down a couple of notches.

It is a higher pace class than I'm used to BUT there are designated water breaks which really helped me recuperate and get back in the game faster.

All in all I give Turbokick a B+. I'm going to keep going 1 day a week and see what results I get. I'll take ever pound of weight loss I can get!