Friday, March 23, 2012

I've Beat The System...Weekly Weigh In

I've overcome my obsession with the scale. Granted, I do (and will continue) to weigh in every single day. However, I don't freak out at the number I see anymore. My body is insane. I fluctuate 2-5 lbs every single day, but the important thing to remember is that I'm on this downward trend to my goal of 185 lbs. I've decided to break my goal into 10 lbs increments that's more manageable than this huge gaping number that's so far in the future. Even 20 lbs goals are daunting. I'd rather celebrate way more victories than failures.

With that being said, my official weigh ins are now on Fridays so drumroll please................ my current weight today is 295.4 lbs. That's about 23 lbs lost. I cant freaking believe it. By August, when I start the TFA gig, I want to be 50lbs lighter. I'm about halfway there and I feel good. I'm starting to notice a difference too. I can look directly in the mirror now. Before when I would be getting dressed, I would turn sideways and never look at myself dead on because I'd be disgusted. I'm not disgusted anymore. I look at myself in the mirror at Zumba.  I can see the 23 lbs on my body and its made such an impact on my life. I feel good. 

I've been getting some FANTASTIC low carb recipes off the internet from http://www.genaw.com/lowcarb/
The food is amazing and so simple. The boyfriend has been eating all of my food so it's boyfriend/husband/man friendly stuff and keeps me in my realm of 30 carbs per day.

I'm going to keep this up. I'm going to do this.

Say it, pray it, do it

Loo

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Champagne Showers

I'm slightly hungover. Not as hungover as last time...but still pretty unpleasant this morning. The boo and I (who has dropped almost 20lbs) decided to head out for St. Patrick's day. He drove and I drank. Now, a few hours into the club, he starts drinking and now we're in a situation... How the eff are we going to get home? He decides to drive us anyway (bad bad BAD IDEA) and we drive straight into a checkpoint on the freeway. I just knew we were going to jail, but Jeremy stayed calm presented his id and we made it home. As soon as we were in the clear I smacked him and said "NEVER AGAIN!!!" If you agree to drive, your ass needs to remain sober you could have went to jail!!! Plus, I dont drink and drive. All my friends have ruined their lives with DUI's and I have too much to lose.

On a good note though, I danced my ass off (literally) and was able to shake myself out of my plateau. My weigh in this morning was 296.4 that's about 22 lbs lost overall and the lowest I've seen the scale in years. It was hot as hell in that basement so I was able to sweat shake rattle and roll all night long.

Hopefully, the weight will keep on falling off. I'm ready for the new me!

Thursday, March 15, 2012

PILOXING FOR FATTIES-like me!

So I'm getting back in the swing of things after my vacation and it feels pretty good to be back on my health kick. I stepped on the scale today and the weight went back down to 300. Yesterday, the scale said 298 but I don't have the energy to get pissed off about things like that anymore. It's going down one way or another and besides, Aunty "Flo" is coming for a week long visit so I'll try to avoid the scale as much as possible.

This semester of school is over which has taken alot of pressure off of me and it feels so damn good to just BREATHE! I have to retake two of the Praxis II tests I refused to study for, but hey...I'll take that. I managed to squeeze an A and 2 B's this semester so I'm pretty damn proud of myself.

On Tuesday, I decided to try another aerobics work out called Piloxing. Its a combo of pilates and boxing designed  by this sweedish woman and I haven't decided if it's the most awesome thing I've ever done in my life or if it's completely retarded as hell. It's designed in blocks like Turbokick-which I don't like too much. Zumba has me spoiled. I like when the instructors all have their own spin on the choreography. Piloxing is the same no matter where you go. However, you do get these .5lb weighted hand gloves that are pink and black and freakin fabulous. I want to just walk around with them on all day because they're cute.

Piloxing is weird. You punch, kick, and then get into third position and "serve the platter". Interesting...is the only word I can conjure up to describe it.

When I went home last week (I haven't seen my family in over a year) everyone was commenting on how much weight I lost. It felt good to be acknowledged for that. I'm working my ass off for something I won't see results for until a year from now.

I've been a good girl since I've been home this week and am going to take it easy on the partying this weekend. The boo wants to go all out for St. Patrick's day (we're both black so why he is so into St. Patrick's Day baffles me lol!) , but I'm going to lay off the beer. Champagne does the trick better than beer and I don't get butt-stomach after drinking it! I look for any excuse to pop bottles!

-Hasta Manana

Loo Loo

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Back from Vacation..Time to face the scale

Ive been on vacation for 8 days and just made it back home at 1:00am this morning. I'm sad to leave all my friends and family back home but boy does it feel good to be back in my normal routine. Have I stuck to my low carb plan and exercised everyday? Aboslutely not! And you know what...It feels good to have been on vacation from the scale too. I needed a mental break.

However, I'm really proud of myself that I have adopted some major lifestyle changes that I brought along with me on vacation.

1. I did not drink any full sugar soda. I had a diet coke twice since I was there
2. I said no to birthday cake and ice cream. I really dont ever want to overdo it with sugar again. Diabetes runs rampant in my family and I dont want to ever get that disease.
3. I DID NOT OVER EAT. This is probably the most important. I ate 3 square meals a day and a healthy snack and stopped when I was full.

I did gain 2 lbs while I was on vacation which isn't too bad considering I threw my low carb diet out the window and said helllooooo to macaroni salad! Thats the only down side to low carbing. If you suddenly get off the low carb way of life, you can put on weight really quickly if you aren't careful. I might add in that it will be my TOM this week so I'm sure I'll pack on some weight there too.

So to date I'm at 302 lbs. It pains me to type the big 300 again,but I'm confident i'll shake it off and continue on my journey once more.

Today, I'm trying out Piloxing for the first time AND an extra hour of Zumba to try and shake off this water weight. I'm sure it'll kick my ass since I've been on my butt all week long.

'Till Tomorrow

-Loo Loo

Monday, March 5, 2012

Carb up up and away!!!!!

After my breakdown on Saturday, I had a really great conversation with my mom who picked me up off the ground. God bless that woman. I'm still dealing with the disappointment of gaining a few pounds but I'm I'm a better place mentally.

That being said my (awesome) job has has sent me and my bosses to las Vegas for a conference. I'm having a ball and unfortunately I'm eating carbs, but it's not my fault.

I don't have a company credit card yet so everything is going on my bosses tab and consequently, we eat wherever she wants to eat or where our business partners want to take us. I've had tortilla chips, Some French fries, orange juice, a bagel, beer, juice and I know I'm going to get thrown out of ketosis no doubt. The conference this morning only had bagels and juice for breakfast and I was starving so I ate one and had juice. They didn't Even have water available. Go figure.

Though I'm stuck eating carbs for a few days, I've been eating in great moderation. I only got halfway through the nachos, I had goat cheese and toast for dinner. My breakfast this morning included two boiled eggs as well along with my juice and bagel. So I'm feeling really good about it. We are staying at the Mandalay and its huge so we do a lot of walking. It's only 9:00 am and we've already had over 1500 steps. After all the meetings today I'm going I make my way to the gym and try to get in at least an hour. I know I should still be in calorie deficit so hopefully these carbs dont creep up and throw me completely off track.

Despite all of the craziness this week, I had a really small win on the airplane. Last time I flew, I was so big that I couldn't fit in the seat. I couldn't even lock myself in the seatbelt and the sides of the seat dug in my sides so bad I had bruises that last for a week. It was terrible. This time I flew, I buckled the seatbelt no problem and am bruise free. Its a small step for weightloss but a giant leap for my confidence.

Till tomorrow

-Loo Loo

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Today is a bad day

It's started off all wrong. I've been trying to maintain a degree of positivity until it was time to step on the scale this morning. I've gained 3 lbs this week and I don't know why. I Zumba 6 times a week, and I've had an average calorie deficit of over 1300 a day, and I've really been watching my carb and calorie count. I'm so discouraged. I've been working my ass off- try to walk 10000 steps a day, try to take the stairs, pass on the salt. But here I am, back again at 300 lbs. I don't think I've ever felt this bad or let down in my life. I exceed in all areas of my life except my weight. I graduated top of my class, I'm a semester away from MBA, I've always had an amazing job opportunity float my way, fantastic boyfriend but I just don't understand why I can't get my weight under control. My mom has suggested getting my thyroid checked and I'm going to. I just...really feel like I'm on this long road to nowhere. It meant so much to me to finally be under 300 lbs and now that I'm back here again- despite all my hard work, honestly makes me want to throw up. I feel like a failure. I've prayed, I've cried, I've run faster, jumped higher, and still I'm back here again. It would be one thing if I was cheating and eating whatever I wanted but that mere fact that I've been really really REALLY working my hardest is the biggest letdown I've ever faced. I'm my own worst enemy. I can never win this fight with myself.

My best friend is telling me to either change my diet, throw away my scale, or just accept the weight I am because it's not healthy to be manic depressive about this. She is right. I can't give up the low carb because honestly despite my failed attempts I actually feel better having some degree of control over what I'm putting in my mouth. Saying no to bread rice and potatoes actually makes me feel good that I can pass something up. I've never been able to do that before. I pile my plate high of everything I can find on the menu and scarf it all down. Now, I can pass up items even at a buffet. I've made a significant breakthrough in my lifestyle thanks to low carb and I won't give that up. I won't ever be content with the weight I am now, I was considering gastric bypass before I tried to do this naturally. Maybe I have to jump back on that. As far as throwing the scale away or putting it up, I may have to do just that. One of the bodybugg users on the forum told me she keeps her scale in the trunk of her car so she has to physically go get it every time she wants to weigh herself and it's a big pain in the ass. I may need to do just this. I leave tomorrow anyway so I won't have access to my scale for over a week and it may be just what I need.

Yesterday I purchased some water pills to help alleviate this gain if it was water weight and I still managed to go up on the scale so I'm afraid this isn't water weight afterall... I'm storing fat for some reason. I'm going to go to old navy today and put on a pair of jeans and see how they fit. I went up there about a month a go and squeezed my way into a 18. I mean it was super tight but I was satisfied because I was able to actually get my big butt in them! I haven't been in a 18 since high school. Maybe I'll feel better if there's less jelly rolls hanging off the sides this time.

Hopefully, I can feel less sorry for myself long enough to enjoy the rest of my day. My vacation starts tomorrow and I head off to Las Vegas and then California to see my family.

Till tomorrow,

Loo Loo

Thursday, March 1, 2012

New Month...New Priorities

I was going to blog again about how sorry I feel for myself that I've plateaued at 20 lbs and then it just hit me...I've lost 20 lbs! This is a big deal. I'm going to start looking at my glass half full (and drink it for my water intake) and realize that my body is changing and despite what Mr. Nasty-Scale says...it shows. Here is a before and after of me in the same dress. I can see a major difference...and today, that's all I'm going to focus on.

More power to me!

-Loo Loo